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I maintain the conviction that it is always possible to evolve. My view is you truly can train a seasoned creature, provided that the mature being is open-minded and ready for growth. Provided that the individual in question is ready to confess when it was wrong, and work to become a improved version.

OK yes, the metaphor applies to me. And the skill I am working to acquire, although I am a creature of habit? It is an major undertaking, an issue I have struggled with, often, for my entire life. My ongoing effort … to become less scared of the common huntsman. My regrets to all the remaining arachnid species that exist; I have to be realistic about my capacity for development as a human. It also has to be the huntsman because it is sizeable, dominant, and the one I run into regularly. This includes a trio of instances in the recent past. Inside my home. You can’t see me, but I’m shaking my head at the very thought as I type.

I doubt I’ll ever reach “admirer” status, but I've dedicated effort to at least attaining a standard level of composure about them.

I have been terrified of spiders from my earliest years (in contrast to other children who are fascinated by them). During my childhood, I had ample brothers around to ensure I never had to engage with any directly, but I still freaked out if one was obviously in the immediate vicinity as me. Vividly, I recall of one morning when I was eight, my family slumbering on, and facing the ordeal of a spider that had made its way onto the lounge-room wall. I “handled” with it by retreating to a remote corner, practically in the adjoining space (lest it pursued me), and discharging a generous amount of pesticide toward it. The chemical cloud missed the spider, but it did reach and irritate everyone in my house.

With the passage of time, whoever I was dating or living with was, automatically, the most courageous of spiders between us, and therefore tasked with managing the intruder, while I produced low keening sounds and ran away. When finding myself alone, my tactic was simply to vacate the area, turn off the light and try to ignore its being before I had to return.

In a recent episode, I stayed at a companion's home where there was a particularly sizable huntsman who resided within the casement, mostly just lingering. As a means to be more comfortable with its presence, I imagined the spider as a her, a one of the girls, part of the group, just chilling in the sun and eavesdropping on us chat. It sounds quite foolish, but it had an impact (a little bit). Or, actively deciding to become less scared did the trick.

Whatever the case, I’ve tried to keep it up. I reflect upon all the sensible justifications not to be scared. I am aware huntsman spiders won’t harm me. I understand they eat things like insect pests (the bane of my existence). It is well-established they are one of nature’s beautiful, harmless-to-humans creatures.

Unfortunately, however, they do continue to scuttle like that. They propel themselves in the most terrifying and borderline immoral way possible. The vision of their numerous appendages carrying them at that frightening pace induces my primordial instincts to go into high alert. They claim to only have a standard octet of limbs, but I maintain that increases exponentially when they are in motion.

However it isn’t their fault that they have scary legs, and they have just as much right to be where I am – possibly a greater claim. My experience has shown that taking the steps of making an effort to avoid have a visceral panic reaction and run away when I see one, trying to remain still and breathing, and intentionally reflecting about their good points, has proven somewhat effective.

Simply due to the reality that they are fuzzy entities that scuttle about at an alarming rate in a way that invades my dreams, doesn’t mean they deserve my hatred, or my high-pitched vocalizations. I am willing to confess when I’ve been wrong and driven by irrational anxiety. I’m not sure I’ll ever reach the “catching one in a Tupperware container and relocating it outdoors” stage, but miracles happen. There’s a few years within this seasoned learner yet.