Struggling to have the time of your life at university? Many share your feelings.
Robert Medhurst used up much of his orientation week browsing through social media, seeing content about other students' fun nights out.
"I stayed indoors," Robert recalls, depicting those days as the loneliest time of his life.
His housemates rarely went out, and his program didn't seem particularly social.
Even though he made efforts by going to taster sessions for multiple organizations, he was unable to locate like-minded individuals.
"I gradually lost my self-assurance," he says. "I felt like individuals didn't desire to be friends with me, or they didn't like me."
Social Media Comparisons
Initially, Robert had no intention of studying at university and was offered positions for following college.
However he watched his acquaintances having great fun as university attendees on social media.
"When you must rise for work on Thursday at the morning hour and you observe peers partied on Wednesday night, you begin believing others have it better," Robert says.
Higher Education Assumptions
TV shows and online platforms can romanticize the concept of college existence.
Many individuals come to university with great anticipations for what they think could be the greatest period of their lives.
Various learners arrive at college with "idealistic views," says a counselling manager.
Study Outcomes
- Through surveys of new students initially, the main anxiety was fitting in and finding acceptance
- Further studies through polling organizations, a significant minority said they had no friends at university
- Over one-third reported they worried daily or weekly about building relationships
Individual Stories
Another student's TikTok feed was populated with clips of peers socializing while sharing accommodation in college residences.
But when she transferred from her previous location to campus to study journalism, she found initial days "intense" because of how much alcohol it involved.
Alisha doesn't drink and had avoided party scenes before.
"I actually passed a lot of freshers' week inside my accommodation," she says. "I just felt somewhat isolated."
Mental Health Considerations
According to recent research of over ten thousand undergraduate students, 29% said they thought about leaving university.
The most common reason was their mental and emotional health, accompanied by monetary worries.
"Anxiety about these various aspects is massively common, and typical," adds a counselling expert.
Discovering Answers
Eventually, Robert, Alisha and Christina gradually adjusted and built connections.
Alisha made friends through her course and through TikTok, while another student became more content once she was able to relocate with companions.
Useful Suggestions
Regarding his experience, now 24 and in his concluding studies, it was engaging in performance groups and working occasionally that helped him make friends.
Robert's advice to beginning learners experiencing connection challenges is to simply leave your accommodation and attend organization sample activities.
"Subsequent to periods of consistently showing up, people recognise your face," he mentions, "you notice their presence, and friendships begin forming."